One humorous phrase I picked up on the race is “Where am I at!?”
Many nights in Ecuador I decided to play a fast card game of Dutch Blitz with my team. It is a fast past game where I had to know what was on my table and what the players around me were throwing out into the middle. It is a fun but an intense game where I would always jokingly quote “Where am I at?” I guess I was outwardly expressing my confusion of falling behind in the game.
Over the year, the quote jokingly comes up. My friends and I laugh and remember the fun we had.
But in a spiritual matter, I’ve had to stop and do some heart checks for myself.
“Seriously, where am I at!?”
Part of this World Race experience we have monthly assignments to finish and hand in on google docs to our leadership team.
Basically, the idea behind these assignments called “journey markers,” is not just for our leadership to check in and see how we are doing and offer encouragement, but it is for us racers to personally check in with ourselves. And I am so grateful for these monthly assignment.
Each month we have about 3 assignments with several questions pertaining to a biblical topic, what we understand from it, how to apply it to our current time, and to ask the Lord for specifics concerning the topic.
Journey markers are sometimes not everyone’s favorite thing. But I find the most spiritual growth I’ve had on the race has come from these weekly assignments!
Throughout the race the most challenging things that come up and I have forced myself to be intentional about, I’ve noticed how much I have grown spiritually and maturely in my journey with the Lord.
“I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.”
Proverbs 8:17 ESV
When journey markers are due, I will take my time to answer questions and turn them in. There have been times when I have been super honest and vulnerable about my present self/ time or current situation. I will type it out on the journey markers. So when I am confused about a topic, I stick with my honesty and share my opinions or thoughts anyway. There have been several times when leadership, whether it has been my mentor, squad coaches, or squad leaders, have commented on my responses for me to go back into prayer with the Lord. They would encourage me to seek the Lord for answers why things were meant they way they were or just to hear the Lord a little more clearer.
I have had some tears, heartbreaking convictions, and loving encounters with the Lord just from returning into the presence of God and asking Him to reveal things to me. At one point in month 4, I could not sleep and I was so desperate to hear answers from the Lord where I found myself sitting down on the stinky bathroom floor just so I could hear Him and not wake up my teammates. Did God show up? Of course He did! Did he give me answers? He sure did! Did I share this with my team and leadership? Yes. And because the Lord had an encounter with me that night on the bathroom floor, I had received some healing from the roots of a hardened area of my heart. The Lord had revealed some issues I hadn’t known of all because I chose to be honest about a life situation on my JM’s question and my squad leader asking me to go back into prayer. Today, I am still growing in this area of healing and sharing it with others. Soon I want to share his experience in another blog when the time is right.
Sometimes in a fast past game you have to pause and look around for a quick minute to see where you are at.
With the race I can relate to this because with so many things to do in the day such as ministry, personal time, worship, team time, feedback, preparing for sermons or classroom teaching, it can feel a little overwhelming at times. It can be easy for me to lose my most important focus, Jesus and my intimate relationship with Him. What the Lord needs us to do is, stop, pause for a bit, and ask the Lord “where am I at right now? Where’s my heart? Where is my focus? What has become the biggest priority of my time?”
“Seek me and you will find me.” -Jesus
This is a great blog, Katy! Love that you have gone back and sought the Lord after not hearing from him or wanting to more fully understand and get answers. Really appreciate that you have found these “assignments” to help propel you in your spiritual growth. Thanks for your honesty!
I love JMs too. I’m so thankful that they have impacted you and that they have pulled you closer to the Lord. Thank you for taking your time out to really put effort into these.